An interaction, any interaction is literally a word game!
Those who might have had the chance to interact with me have enjoyed, liked, disliked, and even learned something about me, my “thin skin” and my perspectives on life. Others have shared my passion, loved me at first hate me afterwards. A few keep themselves away from me now. However, I have been blessed by them all.
…What’s wrong? We – human beings – are complex creatures.
(This is dedicated to them. Yes, I mean you, you, and you too).
An interaction, any interaction is literally a word game! And I think of words, I play with them. People are manipulated by words, not their own but somebody else’s. Words convey messages. There are intentions, emotions, and power in them. I have tried to educate myself to analyze them carefully: I am still learning both to articulate and dis-articulate them.
Please let me explain myself. Residing in this country for some time now has allowed some fringe benefits -a fresh, unbiased point of view. I am not sure though if I have learned or unlearned, improved or developed another perspective. Or is it my very personal point of view?
Let’s fine tune our senses, basically our common sense and apply simple critical thinking about humans, their environment, our interactions, and obviously the outcome these issues may bring.
In America, “everything has to be fun” to be interesting and rewarding. I am in America, therefore, I will use cartoons and a video clip to depict some common attitude – social and difficult interactions. Enjoy yourselves!
What do you see? Critical thinking required.
And I do not mean “Where do you want to be?” (a typical nonsense viral marketing question/ statement most people do not get because they usually skip the “thinking” step). People look but do NOT see.
Analyze.
Words, same as social interactions may be biased and misleading out of context. Please be warned!
If you can NOT see anything, do not panic, read on. We will look for someone or something to blame later on. The following animation is appropriate for now. However, I am pretty sure there would be plenty of others example readers could re-evaluate or use at their convenience.
In psychology, you quickly learn that whatever someone says, believes, does, or expects is their very personal and unique way, down-to earth reality. Or is it?
Difficult interactions, for instance, carry a chance to transform a relationship or a perspective, or both. I do believe they are good mental health exercises, puzzles, or drills – a challenge a few enjoy (and I am one of them!).
Life is full o daily difficult interactions people usually avoid. Since I am writing about people and interactions, I might probably describe three types of people I emphatically see in my errands.
Mediocre people can be easily recognized by the answer: “I am (very) busy!” or “I have too much in my head” … They usually mean hair, not ideas or projects. They are usually fake and full of crap.
Average people, they are low key, they are “content” with what they have; they are conformists.
Those who walk an absolutely different path or make fine accomplishments are normally labeled as artists or heroes.
Occasionally, I may meet someone genuine, special, and sometimes unique; they are food for my soul, new feedback to my mind. It may be anywhere, anytime, anybody, even a whacko. And I believe that I have met some. I must automatically recognize that, on the other hand, sometimes I look for them, or I attract them? I like to challenge myself and others, I expect the unexpected. It is a hard test not everyone can pass, myself included!
I agree when Whitman says:
“I am of old and young, of the foolish as much as the wise,
Regardless of others, ever regardful of others,
Maternal as well as paternal, a child as well as a man,
Stuff’d with the stuff that is coarse and stuff’d with the stuff that is fine…”
In my case, I am a non-conformist, I am still working hard to place myself into one of these types. And let me tell you: I have not been able yet to please many, so please bear with me! (LOL). All right, enough about people.
What is a difficult interaction then?
The following story is another example of what it might happen when individuals are carried away by technology, videos or movies, science fiction, “training”, and other “snacks”.
PIGEON: IMPOSSIBLE. It is the tale of Walter, a rookie secret agent faced with a problem seldom covered in basic training: what to do when a curious pigeon gets trapped inside your multi-million dollar, government-issued nuclear briefcase.
***
PIGEON: IMPOSSIBLE. Es la historia de Walter, un novel agente secreto se encuentra con un problema que no formó parte de su entrenamiento básico: ¿qué hacer cuando un curioso pichón queda atrapado dentro de su costoso maletín nuclear especial proporcionado por el gobierno?
***
PIGEON: IMPOSSIBLE. C’est la histoire de Walter, un jeune agent secret est confronté à un problème rarement abordés dans la formation de base: Que faire quand un pigeon curieux reste emprisonné dans votre plusieurs millions de dollars, émis par le gouvernement mallette nucléaire?
***
PIGEON: IMPOSSIBLE. È il racconto di Walter, un agente segreto novellino si trova di fronte ad un problema di cui raramente in una formazione di base: Che cosa fare quando un piccione curiosa rimane intrappolato all’interno del vostro multi-milioni di dollari, emesso dal governo valigetta nucleare?
***
انها حكاية والتر وسجل هاميلتون عميل سري يواجه مشكلة نادرا ما تتناول في التدريب الأساسي :
ماذا تفعل عندما حمامة غريبة تحصل محاصرين داخل بك عدة ملايين من الدولارات ، التي تصدرها الحكومة
حقيبة نووية
What is a difficult interaction then? Anything you find it difficult to talk about, someone you find it difficult to meet, or an issue you find it difficult to deal with.
Remember that intelligence may be defined by the capability for abstract thought, reasoning, planning, problem solving, communication, and learning. That is why some succeed and most others fail. ( Knock on wood!).
Fire someone, break a relationship, confront your parents or coworkers, raise a topic, labeling, stereotypes, expectations, or any other specific event may bring along or produce a difficult situation or interaction.
Americans are well trained in diplomacy but not enough savoir-faire. French and other Europeans are featured as being straight forward for essentials. Asians highlight philosophy. While Latinos and Hispanics excel in being passionate, hot blooded, and ingenuity. Among these races, unfortunately, some are in the edge of stupidity, some fake, some are good, a few evil minded too. People like to wear masks. Nevertheless, it is only a percentage of that particular community. This does not mean that group is better or this one is worse – just plain different! OK let’s take a bit of each…
Anyway, the tip here is to face and turn whatever interaction into a positive learning interaction. Because this process can dramatically reduce stress, increase confidence, improve experience, and trust all around. In other words, brings understanding and control over conflicts.
If there is “enough” beauty in being here and not somewhere else does not imply we deny to see or do not want to pay attention to where we come from. We need to anticipate obstacles we will sooner o later find along the track we are on.
From a fantastic opportunity to a tremendous experience to get closer to truth.
Latin “Cogito ergo sum“; the French: Je pense, donc je suis; English: I think, therefore I am is a philosophical statement coined by mon cher amie français René Decartes where he presents the idea of “someone” who is doing the thinking.
So please allow me this time…
Conflict can be transmuted into understanding. When we go through a situation we concentrate mostly on words, the perception of “that encounter”, and what it may mean to us. These are the basic elements that play higher or lower into a conversation:
1. What really happens (or happened), not “our “interpretation, perception, or values; who said what, who is to blame, who is right. We never question our version or who is right or wrong, and neither do we question that a difficult interaction is about getting the facts right as opposed to what they mean.
Tip: An interaction turns out to be a conflict of perception(s), interpretation(s), and value(s). If we shift our attitude from delivering a message to finding how the other person see things differently, the interaction is less heavy and emotionally barbed – it is just another perception. To get from blame to contribution first involves listening. Listen to each other’s story. People never change without first feeling understood. Telling someone to do something makes it less likely that they will, while understanding may just break down their wall of resistance.
2. Stick to the facts, not to feelings, involve feelings, or personal involvement; many strong feelings enter into any interaction, sometimes they are obvious and open, sometimes they are not expressed, they may be hidden. (Remember, people feel more comfortable wearing masks and clothes. Nudity is still taboo in many countries).
Tip: Do not get emotional – express feelings. Feelings come out anyway through change of voice tone, body language, and facial expression. Our feelings are as important as others’ feelings. Yet when we deny their validity we can sabotage any interaction. People should not confuse being emotional with the clear expression of emotions. Of course, they are the core of these interactions.
3. Identity conversation. All or nothing? Defiance or exaggeration? Self-image or self-esteem, consideration of our value. Has the interaction made us suddenly feel we may be evil, incompetent, disloyal, selfish, or insensitive? The identity conversation is about self-image or self-esteem, so it is important that we do not lose our balance on an emotional level. For instance, someone recently called me a “heartless bastard” (and I gladly added it – this new expression – to my personal theatrical dictionary. Why? Oh! It was a woman in a dramatic performance… an actress, I believe).
Tip: The alternative to blame is joint contribution. Instead of trying to find out where the finger should be pointed, we work ascertain what contributed to the problem or the issue.
In my opinion, any interaction may go nothing less than from a fantastic opportunity to a tremendous experience to get closer to truth, to become a learning experience, worthwhile vivencias (personal valuable experience). They help us to change the whole atmosphere of important encounters so that curiosity about each party’s needs and desires leads to new appreciation and understanding (I must also admit this is not always true, especially with the opposite sex or it simply backfires among the LGBT community).
Years ago, when I taught at University of Wisconsin-La Crosse, my German friend and colleague professor Karl Rubel taught me that, additionally to the facts presented above, in whatever interaction or conversation we get involved in, careful attention should be primarily given to what is was NOT said, NOT demonstrated, NOT shown, NOT expressed, NOT done, or NOT thought by the other party.
As wrong assumptions and blame are taken out the equation, what is left is the truth.
Please watch the video and listen to the lyrics… [Lyrics here]
Who is the one to blame? Who is responsible for this mess?
America – the beautiful or The Beautiful America?
The American Dream?
Immigration – us – aliens?
The American economy or world fall down?
Environmental issues?
Terrorism?
Politics?
Hatred, Greed, and Power?
These are some of the many many questions – difficult interactions – issues we face here today.
What is America to me? A certain word, “democracy”? The faces that I see. All races and religions, that’s America to me…
The “howdy” and the handshake, the air of feeling free. And the right to speak my mind out, that’s America to me. The dream that’s been a-growin’ for two hundred years.
Today America is no longer in power when students first are taught “what” to think and adults later are carefully controlled “how” to think.
Today America is not longer the land of the free but The United States of Restrictions when personal greed, partisan interests, multinational companies, and politicians control information, news, and people’s basic needs.
Today America is not longer the land of the brave when CNNism takes over common sense with an almost widespread high level of paranoia.
Today America is no longer America when unfair laws, prejudice, and discrimination along with wrongful actions directly affect individuals, their families, and their human rights.
Final comment
These may be the answers to why the rest of the world does no longer respect America anymore; because lose of respect usually precedes a civil war, a revolution, a downfall. Or is it just pure coincidence?
Therefore, do NOT become defensive but stay alert instead.
Every single individual has a friend and an enemy within himself/ herself – their brains (for those who have them, of course!)
This is serious business. Use your head and think. It is fun and free!
My dear fellows – We need to re-humanize ourselves.
Sometimes I’m naïve – I think I understand everything but then I regain consciousness.
…That’s why you’re crying like a bitch!
By theX
